I know what it’s like to struggle to get out of bed day after day. To have a dark cloud looming no matter how much I longed for the sunshine. To feel drained and completely numb yet paralyzed as I relived a horrific memory again and again, day after day. I know what it’s like to feel as if I could give up fighting. I also know what it’s like to take those very difficult first steps towards moving forward, getting help, learning to cope and heal.
I know I mostly post pictures and videos of fish with positive messages and it’s because I’ve worked VERY hard to get here, both mentally and physically. I’ve received a few comments of criticism for what a few have perceived as me sharing my ‘perfect life’ while others are struggling. I understand and I’ve faced my own challenges, too. I found myself at the lowest point in my life a couple of years ago, and it was a wake-up call that I couldn’t continue on the way I had been. Although I was functioning day-to-day the best I could and living a fortunate life from the outside looking in, I suffered in silence for a long time. I was finally diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. I survived a horrific trauma in the past and I convinced myself for years that I was fine. I wasn’t fine and my symptoms progressively worsened. A lot went on between then and now but without a doubt, getting professional help was the best decision I’ve ever made. I’m grateful for Eric’s support, too, as he was truly there for me in the darkest times. My time on the water has become an important part of my healing process, and maintaining mental wellness as well. My past will always be a part of my story but I’m grateful to have become better equipped to cope and to move forward.
I know my story is not unique, and I’m thankful that more and more people are discussing mental health. These conversations are important and inspiring.
If the difficult parts of my story are familiar, please don’t wait like I did to seek help. The first steps are the hardest but there’s so much waiting for you on the other side.
Thank you for reading,